Monday, 26 September 2011

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

On Changes

Change is.
Change is coming. It's a little unclear how it'll come together. God knows and that's enough for now.
I changed up the look of this blog again (I can't help but comment on it - I'm compelled to do so and may always be). In retrospect, and after discussion with a friend, the eggs have connections beyond my initial meaning.
My friend wondered if they were a throw back reference to Madam Poul, my flighty ex-office assistant.
Then there's the old saying 'gotta break a few eggs to make an omlette' which is not entirely off-base in my life at the moment. I'm not breaking a bunch of eggs so much as anticipating a great spread... which means that, in the end, the eggs will have to break.
Also, I do love breakfast.
Then I find myself wondering if it isn't that I've been doing baking again. Wow I love making cakes and cookies and other lovely sweet things that require eggs.
And then there's the fact that I just love the look of eggs. So aesthetically pleasing. Brown ones, white ones. They're pretty.
So, whatever the reason, the look is changed and may or may not hold deep or shallow meaning.
Enjoy :D

Monday, 12 September 2011


Memory is funny. It's something that is based, maybe, on facts or events but that often has very little to do with what literally happened. More so, I think, it is about experience of an event or even a perception of an experience of the thing that 'happened'.
Our brains are pretty amazing.
I was talking to Noah (now 2 years and 2 months old) the other day and asked him if he remembered something we did last month. He thought about it for a moment, his eyes moved up and to the side (the way they do when we're trying to remember), and said that yes, he did remember that thing we did.
This pleased me to no end because when I first came back from Haiti he seemed a little unsure of his past experiences of being with me. I left when he was 1.5 yrs and returned when he was 2. Totally normal and expected, but doesn't make an aunt feel great. Now, just a few weeks later, we have shared times together and played together enough that I'm an active part of his memories. Our relationship is growing again with our shared experiences.
This thinking back and remembering that he did in order to find me in those imprints in his lovely brain also touched me emotionally. Maybe it sounds goofy, but I now have a memory of him remembering me and that memory is full of my feelings of joy and affection and connection to him. I love that.
I think that how we remember each other and ourselves is a very interesting thing. Imagine if you only had factual memories. If you couldn't connect emotions with events or people or with yourself - How would that colour your memory? Your experience of living? 
Some people do live life that way - productive important rich lives - but that's not me.
My life is coloured by emotion. Like brightly coloured threads running everywhere, woven together, connected and related but also separate that tell the story of thirty five years of experiences. Thirty five years of relationships. Thirty five years of colour. Thirty five years of life.

Friday, 2 September 2011

Joy! and Kevin!

A couple of weeks ago a dear friend from university wed her lovely chosen one.
It was a great celebration (the most kid-friendly wedding I've ever attended, bless them), and such a great time of catching up with my old IV pals.
It is really a precious thing to have friends over the years. To walk together, closely or at arm's length, through relationships, marriages, children, jobs, whatever... Such a gift.
A big part of the old gang. I sound like I'm 75.
Anyhow, Joy is in the middle, in her stunning red reception dress, holding the hand of her beloved new husband, Kevin. So sweet!
We did really miss Kayreen - who had to cancel last minute due to Dengue (she's doing well but you could go a head and pray for continued recovery for her).

Thursday, 1 September 2011

remove outward expectations

One of the daily devotional thoughts sent out by Relevant Magazine's Deeper Walk:

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

By Cameron Lawrence

"In their hearts human beings plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."
  Proverbs 16:9 TNIV

FROM A YOUNG AGE, we're taught that leaving is a necessity of sorts. Some of us leave for education, others for fortune, some to escape. One of the problems with such devotion to movement is that stillness, by default, amounts to failure. But as we wander, we are increasingly cut off from this thing we deeply need: a spiritual home. It's this connection that gives us not only identity but purpose. It's how we discover calling and find fulfillment in the gifts God gives us. The wholeness of our community depends on it. And we depend on the wholeness of our community. Of course, this discussion would be incomplete without acknowledging that sometimes, God calls us to leave.
So what does this mean for you? Perhaps you need to ask yourself: Are you willing? Are you willing to stay, if that's what God has for you? Wherever God has you, wherever He leads, give yourself to knowing the place and belong to it; love and serve it. It's hard work. But if you'll be fully present where you are, in all you do, you just might find what you've been looking for all along.

When you remove outward expectations, do you feel God has called you to stay where you are, or preparing you to move?