Friday, 15 March 2013

"It must sometimes break your heart"

It breaks my heart consistently. That's probably the biggest reason I've stayed here most of the last two years - second only to my (sometimes wavering, if I'm honest) desire to be obedient to the Lord. But you know what I've realised? It is out of my own brokenness that I can best love and serve the broken. I do cry a lot for them and call out to God on their behalf too. And this deepens my love for these precious children of our Father. And then, on days like today, I am confident that that is the greatest thing in this life - to love with Jesus' love and to pray for each other.
 
I wrote this to a friend from years past in an email today.

Then I thought, if I really believe that, I need to back it up.

So I'd like to ask you to pray for a young girl I am working with. I cannot describe her more succinctly than to say she is an utterly chaotic, never satisfied vacuum. On the exterior she is pushy and sometimes overly friendly while other times cold and distant. Her hunger is for love and only our Redeemer can satisfy. Her pain and brokenness is deep and ugly and riddled with shame. And when I am with her I can feel how she desperately tries to both connect with others and to not be destroyed by what is happening inside. It affects every part of her and every part betrays the pain, if you're looking.
It is one of the heaviest things I've experienced but I know I do not carry it alone. I love her, but she is not mine. She is one of the orphanage children, but she does not belong to Mission of Hope. She belongs to Jesus and He is transforming her - He alone has the power to heal this child's horror. Not only is He healing her, He is redeeming her and WILL use every bit of her story and pain to multiply His beauty and love.
So, please, help me love her by praying for her - not by name, but by heart. Pray to release her into His power and light. Her redemption story is already brilliant and God is forever faithful to His children.
Our hope is endless.
There is no end to our Hope in Christ!

2 comments:

Rachel Bernard said...

Praying for her sweet heart, and for you as you work with her.

Sarah said...

Oh. Your words run so deep in my heart. Yes - praying for her, for eyes that she can see the redemption and freedom she has in Jesus.

And always praying for your gut-wrenching, refining, amazingly beautiful work.